Undressed Expectations
You can admire things about other people without it meaning you secretly hate something about yourself. I have zero desire to be anyone other than me. But I’d be lying if I said I haven’t noticed little pieces of other people’s experiences that I’d love to feel for myself.
One Friday morning, out of nowhere, I had this thought: “Damn, I love how early young, white children get to express themselves freely.” The picture in my head was so clear, a little blonde kid with neon streaks in their hair, maybe a wild fuchsia or electric blue. Something small, but not small. Because behind that seemingly harmless choice lives something deeper, freedom.
For me, dyeing your hair as a kid wasn’t a harmless choice. It was a “grown” thing. Do it too young? You’re “fast.” Your hair would fall out, you’d go bald, or worse, you’d look like you were trying to be older than you were. You had to earn the right to color your hair. Not with permission slips, but by reaching some invisible maturity checkpoint.
So when I turned 16 and started making my own money as a barista, the very first “for me” thing I did was march into a salon and dye my hair. In my head, my look was finally catching up to how I’d felt for years. And no one could say a damn thing about it because I paid for it with my own money. Mine, mine, mine!
Fast forward almost twenty years. I’m an adult woman, a mom, an employee, a business owner, and fully self-sufficient. Life looks completely different. My mindset is completely different. And yet, the first time I dyed my hair again, I felt “it”, that same spark of rebellion. But this time it wasn’t about breaking rules, it was about breaking free. It was an awakening.
That feeling? I want EVERY Black girl and woman I meet to have it. To bottle it up and hand it over like, “Here, this is yours. Breathe it in”. Because even if you grow up in a home that loves and nurtures you, the world still has its whispers. Don’t be too bold. Don’t be too LOUD. Don’t be too visible. And over time, those whispers can chip away at you. Sometimes it’s not even strangers, it’s people who look just like you, telling you to sit down, keep quiet, and eat your food with your head down, or risk losing your place at the table.
But here’s the truth: if you can’t bring your full self to the table, it was never your table to begin with. And if you can’t bring your full self into your style, it was never really your style.
That’s why I created Style Rehab. Rehabilitation, in its truest sense, is restoring someone to their full health, privileges, and identity after something has tried to strip it away. And you can’t restore someone’s full self if they’ve only been allowed to paint with two colors from the rainbow.
“Fashion is one of the purest forms of self-expression that we have at our disposal as humans. The way we dress is a reflection of how we feel and who we are. ”
In Style Rehab, I help you reconnect the parts of your personality that have been dulled, muted, or buried under other people’s projections and then align them with a style that speaks your language. So your outward appearance doesn’t just reflect you, it amplifies you.
Because once you see yourself in your fullest format, sans the shadows and whispers, you’ll never want to go back. And you’ll never let anyone or anything dim you again.
